I Need to Temper My Temper
Patience is required for parenting and definitely necessary when you homeschool your kids. How is that I don’t have ANY patience these days? I have to find a way to change that. My fuse blows often enough that I think that the kids are getting suspicious about whether I truly am sorry for yelling yet again. I don’t know why I do it because it really is the least effective method of motivating the children to do anything.
I have a plan, though.
- I will take the advice that I read in a devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries today. It helped me to think about what is behind my anger, and maybe it will help you, too.
- I will go to bed earlier so I get enough rest.
- I will have my quiet time in the morning. I have been spending time with God at night, but I think I need to start the day with God.
- As I learned at Mom to Mom, I will distinguish between childhood irresponsibility and willful disobedience. They are not the same and should not be treated the same way.
- I will find a more effective way of transitioning my children from one thing to another. That is when they fall apart most often.
- I will pray in the moment and take time to listen to what God has to say.
How do you get through the day without losing your temper?
Photo courtesy of hampdenarchy
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comments (4)Homeschool Discipline
After about a month of terrible behavior from the children, I decided that I had to do something. I was frustrated and angry all of the time. In fact, I was in tears not that long ago because I felt helpless. I simply had no idea what to do about the behavior problems.I prayed about it and thought about it for a while.
I remembered that C4 is a kinesthetic learner. She also needs visual reminders. After talking with a friend about her discipline plan, which was similar to the one I used to use in my classroom, I knew what I had to do. I got to work on my own plan. That was about two weeks ago.
I am happy to report that this week I have been enjoying the fruit of my labor. The kids have been wonderful with each other and so happy since I implemented my new discipline plan. After some initial testing, the kids’ behavior has turned around. I am enjoying my children now rather than feeling stressed and scattered. Since I am not cleaning up messes or disciplining someone as much anymore, we have reclaimed those precious times of snuggling on the couch to read books. I am not reprimanding them as much. Instead I am praising the good choices that kids make, and they are praising each other!
Now we are back to learning and making happy memories. This is why I homeschool!
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (0)Homeschool Mom: Persevering or Proving Herself
I just read a great article in “Christianity Today” about “dropping out” of homeschooling. It got me thinking that home education is a huge commitment and perfectionists like me might wrestle with the decision to continue homeschooling. As I was reading this article, I kept thinking that I often do not show myself any grace, and the mother in the article didn’t either. She talked about her struggle to let go of homeschooling. She wanted it to work even though nothing she was doing made things improve, and she clearly heard God telling her to send her children to public school. It can be difficult to distinguish between perseverance and the need to prove something to everyone else. Perseverance is good, but proving yourself to others is not.
My husband and I have decided this:
- We will think about and plan school one year at a time. It is impossible to think through all of the possibilities and determine what will be best for our children beyond that time frame.
- We will remember that each child is unique. Home education may be good for one child, but not good for another.
- We will work together as a team to educate our children. Ecclesiastes 4:9Ecclesiastes 4:9
English: World English Bible - WEB
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. tells us that we need each other. Hopefully that will help us make better decisions about our children’s education. - We will pray about the direction of our home school. Right now we feel called to home educate our children next year full time, but God may have different plans after that. I want to follow His plan!
Show yourself some grace and pray. Homeschooling is hard work and rewarding. But if you find that home education is not working for your children, then investigate alternatives.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (1)Thanksgiving in October: Praise for What We Have and Prayer for Those in Need
Today is Blog Action Day 2008, and the topic is poverty. What does poverty have to do with homeschooling?
First, poverty cannot be ignored. According to the National Center for Children, four out of ten American children are growing up in poverty. The World Bank reports that one in four families in developing countries is living in poverty. That is an enormous amount of people directly affected by poverty!
Additionally, poverty leads to death because of hunger and disease. According to Poverty.com, “there is plenty of food in the world for everyone.” We also have vaccinations for many of the diseases that are killing people who cannot afford them. What a tragedy!
As a mother and homeschooler, I want my children to understand how much we as a nation and as an international community are affected by poverty and that we do not have to stand idly by. Our family owns a home, has electricity, and clean water. We are one of the most fortunate families in the world considering that much of the world does not have any of these things. I want my children to understand that they are living a privileged life and feel blessed and thankful. I want my children to feel empowered to do something about poverty, understanding that we can responsibly help the poor improve their quality of life. How can my family do tha?
A service project is one answer. Our church based small group has completed a few service projects in the last couple of years such as hosting a yard sale to benefit our troops, making meals for a local halfway house, and cooking dinners for a local ministry. I think that it energized us to want to serve. I encourage you to look at service opportunities in your community.
There are many mission trips that families can take together both domestically and abroad. There are short term mission trips that last approximately two weeks while others last for a year at a time. I have been on a mission trip myself, and I am thinking about mission trips for my children. I know that seeing first hand what a developing country is like had a huge impact on me, and I know that, one day, that my children will have that same experience.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of prayer. Pray for the people who are suffering because of poverty. Please pray for the organizations that are sending relief to the poor. Pray for everyone to take initiative to help those in need. Pray to end poverty. I know that we will.
Encouraging Our Friends Considering Homeschooling
I have been talking with a good friend of mine about homeschooling. She and her husband both feel that God is calling them to home educate their children. He is completely on board with the idea. She is not so sure. She has been dabbling in it for the last few months and has had quite a bit of success. She has a couple of concerns about it, though. I wonder if you have had these same concerns at one time or another. Perhaps you can provide some encouragement.
“I don’t want the kids to be weird.” I think that many people feel that homeschooled children are a little different from children who are educated in private or public schools, and people do not view these differences very positively. Lots of people view homeschooled kids as lacking social skills. They think that these children dress out of the ordinary and are awkward. My take on this concern is that we as parents need to equip our children to live in this world, but to not be of this world (1 John 2:15-171 John 2:15-17
English: World English Bible - WEB
15 Don’t love the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the Father’s love isn’t in him.
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, isn’t the Father’s, but is the world’s.
17 The world is passing away with its lusts, but he who does God’s will remains forever.) because we are strangers in a strange land. We need to give our children the tools to navigate our culture, but also instill in them our values. That may mean that in your family it is acceptable for your children to wear fashionable clothing that falls under certain parameters. It may mean that your children are allowed to watch particular popular television shows and read certain books that their friends read. However, that may also mean that your children miss out on events or other opportunities that their peers who attend public or private school are allowed to participate in. That could happen if your children were not homeschooled, though. Your rules may be different than other parents’ rules, but it may have nothing to do with where your children are educated. Honestly, I think home educated children have better social skills from the kinds of experiences they have in the world and by how they are coached by their parents since their parents spend that much more time with them.
“I don’t want to be judged by people who disagree with home education.” This is a difficult one, especially if you feel like you are being judged by other Christians. There are plenty of people who have misconceptions about why families choose to homeschool their children. No matter what you do, people will judge you, though. People have opinions, and they feel very strongly about those opinions. However, for most people, those opinions are based on very limited experiences. It is difficult to judge whether one family’s choice is better than another’s based on your own family’s needs. How could you do that? All children are unique and created by God to be that way. The fact is that we are all sinners, and many of us fall prey to the sin of judging others. If you have prayed about what God wants you to educate your children and you feel called to homeschooling them, then you need to be confident in that choice. All we can do is pray for those who are judging us. A sense of humor helps, too, along with a witty come back.
Are you considering home education? What are your concerns? What have people said to you about homeschooling?
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comments (3)Building an Extended “Family” Network
One challenge that my family faces, and I know many other families do too, is the need for a family support system. In the past a young family lived close to grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Moms could rely on the extended family who sometimes lived with them to help out with caring for the children. These days families do not always have that kind of connection with extended family. That means that moms have to be creative about their options for child care. I think it can be a very real challenge for homeschoolers whose children do not leave home on that yellow bus in the morning allowing mom a few minutes to not worry about who is taking care of the children. It means you have to be resourceful.
I have tried to be resourceful by joining mom groups and play groups and getting to know neighbors. I wanted to cultivate friendships that would give me and my family the support and companionship that we need and crave. I have asked God to live nearby dear friends. I have wanted a best friend who lived so close we could walk to their home and live life together. I have to tell you that I have been truly blessed by a family that we have gotten to really know recently and who may very well turn out to be the kind of friends I have prayed for. This family has invited us to their home to play, watched our children when our child care fell through, and prayed for us. This is the kind of friendship that I have been praying for!
I think all families need to have an extended “family” network. You need tp be able to rely on someone who lives close to you, someone who you can call on one of those days when you really need some help. You need a network of folks who will rock your babies so you can take care of yourself or who will make a meal if there is an emergency. You need friends who will watch your kids for a little while or teach you a new skill. You also need another adult to talk to during the day about everything and anything. I am talking about building a community for you and your family.
It takes time and energy to build a community these days. It means that you have to put yourself out there to meet people. I have met my closest friends at church and through mom groups. I have had to make the phone calls to invite people over to play or to meet us at the playground. I often offer to help another family our first. Building a community requires spending time together. You have to commit to taking the time to get to know these folks and offering your help even when you don’t think they will want or need your help. Add prayer to your time commitment, and you will soon find your community growing.
I hope that you take the time to build an extended family network, a community of families. You and your family will be blessed in countless ways if you do! Please tell me what you have done to build your own community.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (0)Pray and Remember Today
On this September 11th I am praying. I am praying for our troops and their families. I am praying for the families who are remembering loved ones who died on 9/11/01. I am also praying for our leaders. I am praying to remember those terrible events seven years ago. I hope you join me in my prayers. Someone on Twitter posted a link to a GodTube prayer wall. I encourage you to stop by the prayer wall. You can pray for other people’s requests or add your own. It is a truly powerful experience. Pray and remember.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comments (2)Commemorating 9/11 in Your Homeschool
Still fresh in my memory are the events that took place on 9/11. I remember the day clearly down to where I was when I found out about the attacks. How about you? I have been reflecting on the terrorist attacks and the fear that followed. It was an uncertain time in our history, and I feel it is important for us to honor those innocent people who died on that day in 2001 and to honor all of the people who have been defending freedom ever since.
I am going to spend some time praying tomorrow. I want to pray for the families who were most touched by the tragedies, the family members who lost their loved ones that day. I also plan to pray for our government officials to make wise decisions that will protect our citizens, our soldiers, and the innocent lives impacted by those decisions. Perhaps the most important people to pray for are our soldiers who are serving their country and their families who are waiting for their loved ones to return home safely. Will you join me in my prayers?
For some other ideas for how to commemorate the day, go to christianhomeschoolers.com. It is a resource center filled with links to help you memorialize the day.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (0)Motherhood: Long Days, Short Years
Tonight is a monumental event in our house. We have taken down the crib, and everyone is now in a “big kid” bed for the first time. They have been eager to make this move, and my nearly two year old sped up the process by climbing out of the crib. This is an exciting moment for the children, but a sad one for Mommy. Besides the fact that switching sleeping arrangements tends to undo all of our hard work to make bed time go smoothly, now I don’t have a baby in my house. No more swaddling, rocking, and soothing. No one completely adores me just for being me. This is a particularly difficult change for me.
I am watching my babies grow up so fast. Someone told me that motherhood is full of long days and short years. This statement didn’t make sense to me when I was on the cusp of motherhood with a baby growing inside of me, but now that I am on the front lines of motherhood, I find that it is so very true. Things change at lightning speed with children, yet they need constant repetition to learn those important lessons. The mundane things that are so much a part of mothering seem to overwhelm us and prevent us from taking a step back to see the whole picture. We often keep our noses to the grind stone and forget to look up to see what is happening right now.
Then there are moments that make us take notice, like tonight. My little one was nervous about sleeping in a toddler bed, so my four year old said, “Just remember that I am always here. (They share a room.) Mommy is always here. Daddy is always here. And remember this…God is always with you. All you have to do is pray. You are safe and sound.” My heart just melted! Yes, all of that repetition, all of the hard work, all of that prayer is paying off! Someone – my dear God – is listening to me. “Thank you, God, for the encouragement! Tonight I desperately needed it.”
My kids have finally settled down to sleep after much fuss about the new sleeping situation. (It took both of us to settle them down and figure out that the little one only needed a new diaper and not comfort. Go figure!) Now I am going to take a deep breath, take a sip of my cup of memories, and enjoy the fact that my babies are growing up in amazing ways. I will always have the memories of my babies, but now they are blossoming into people who love each other and, most of all, who love God. How incredible is that!
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (0)Homeschooling Woman of Faith
Homeschoolers can feel isolated from time to time especially when the children have gotten into a rhythm and routine. You often forget to look up and take a break. I was able to take a refreshing break that I truly needed this weekend. I went to the Women of Faith conference. I have been thinking about what Sheila Walsh, one of the speakers, talked about. She is a funny and inspirational speaker, singer, and author. Today she spoke about what Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane before he was betrayed by Judas. She was struck by the fact that although Jesus asked God to take away His fate if it was at all possible, He wanted to follow God’s will instead of His own.
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39Matthew 26:39
English: World English Bible - WEB
39 He went forward a little, fell on his face, and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me; nevertheless, not what I desire, but what you desire.”
Seeking God’s will is such a difficult thing. I know that I often start out trying to seek His will, but instead I seek my own. Do you find that you do that, too? I don’t want to let go of my agenda, and I secretly hope that God will go along with what I want. My prayers often sound like demands. I want my God to do what I think is best. In this passage Jesus is showing us that it is all right to ask of God, but to expect that His will is done – not yours.
It is easy for homeschoolers to feel obligated, pressured, and unsure of what to do next about their children’s education. Sometimes you are not sure if what you are doing is right. You compare your home school to another. Have you asked God what He wants for you? God has a plan for you and your children.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11Jeremiah 29:11
English: World English Bible - WEB
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end.
God’s answers to your prayers may surprise you, but you don’t know the whole story like He does. He is the author. His plan is better than any plan that you could come up with. Draw closer to Him during your quiet time in order to discern what His will is for you, your family, and your home school. Spend time reading the Bible, listening to God. Listening to God will give you wisdom about how to proceed, which may not make sense to you in the context of our world, but will make sense in God’s greater plan.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2Romans 12:2
English: World English Bible - WEB
2 Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.
Try following Jesus’ example and pray. Ask God for what you hope for, but ready to hear what His will is.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (0)
