Motherhood: Long Days, Short Years
Tonight is a monumental event in our house. We have taken down the crib, and everyone is now in a “big kid” bed for the first time. They have been eager to make this move, and my nearly two year old sped up the process by climbing out of the crib. This is an exciting moment for the children, but a sad one for Mommy. Besides the fact that switching sleeping arrangements tends to undo all of our hard work to make bed time go smoothly, now I don’t have a baby in my house. No more swaddling, rocking, and soothing. No one completely adores me just for being me. This is a particularly difficult change for me.
I am watching my babies grow up so fast. Someone told me that motherhood is full of long days and short years. This statement didn’t make sense to me when I was on the cusp of motherhood with a baby growing inside of me, but now that I am on the front lines of motherhood, I find that it is so very true. Things change at lightning speed with children, yet they need constant repetition to learn those important lessons. The mundane things that are so much a part of mothering seem to overwhelm us and prevent us from taking a step back to see the whole picture. We often keep our noses to the grind stone and forget to look up to see what is happening right now.
Then there are moments that make us take notice, like tonight. My little one was nervous about sleeping in a toddler bed, so my four year old said, “Just remember that I am always here. (They share a room.) Mommy is always here. Daddy is always here. And remember this…God is always with you. All you have to do is pray. You are safe and sound.” My heart just melted! Yes, all of that repetition, all of the hard work, all of that prayer is paying off! Someone – my dear God – is listening to me. “Thank you, God, for the encouragement! Tonight I desperately needed it.”
My kids have finally settled down to sleep after much fuss about the new sleeping situation. (It took both of us to settle them down and figure out that the little one only needed a new diaper and not comfort. Go figure!) Now I am going to take a deep breath, take a sip of my cup of memories, and enjoy the fact that my babies are growing up in amazing ways. I will always have the memories of my babies, but now they are blossoming into people who love each other and, most of all, who love God. How incredible is that!
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comment (0)Only Human
One of the most difficult realizations that I had when I found out I was pregnant for the first time was that my mother would never be able to share this experience with me. She would never be able to share what her pregnancies were like, or give me advice and encouragement. She wouldn’t hold my beautiful baby, or show me all of the little tricks that mothers share with each other. My mother desperately wanted to be a grandmother, and it would have brought her great joy to be with my children. I would have been delighted to watch her with them. That hole will be in my heart forever; I miss her every day. But she was only human.
The other day I heard the angst in my father’s voice because he felt inadequate as my parent. I needed help and advice that only a mother can give. He really wanted to help me, but he just couldn’t. He is the only parent that my sister and I have, and he juggles his time to meet everyone’s needs, but he is unable to do it all. He has been a great dad and “Papa”. The children adore him and cherish the time they have with him. It blesses my heart to watch him with the kids. But he is only human.
When my first baby was born, I found that I couldn’t do everything. I was in despair because I felt utterly alone and incompetent. No one was able to help me. No one had the time to rock my baby or do my dishes. No one was able to quench my thirst for a mother to take care of me while I took care of everyone else. No one really understood what the problem was. But my friends and family are only human.
I am only human.
Who was going to fill that hole? Who was going to quench my thirst? Who was going to save me?
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14John 4:13-14
English: World English Bible - WEB
13 Jesus answered her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again,
14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never thirst again; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”
Yes, Jesus is the answer! After discovering again that Jesus was the only one who could save me, I began to pray scripture and ask for healing. I have been dealing with the loss now and moving forward. I am only human, but Jesus is fully human and fully divine. He came to earth to save me. It is His job to save me; no one else can do that for me.
Yes, I am only human.
I do not have a mother of my own here on this earth, but I am a good mother and maybe even a better mother because of it. You must think that I am crazy. I am a better mother because I do not have a mother? It is true. Although there are days that I feel discouraged and desperately want my mom, I know that, in the end, my dependence on God makes me a better parent. God provides what no one else can, and He fills that hole in my heart. God is not a mere human. God is the ultimate parent, and He is mine.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14Psalm 139:13-14
English: World English Bible - WEB
13 For you formed my inmost being.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I will give thanks to you,
For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful.
My soul knows that very well.
Grace
My God has shown me plenty of grace and mercy. He gave his son, Jesus, to die for my sins. He forgives me time and again even though I am not worthy. I am righteous, right with God, because of the sacrifice of Jesus. God gave us this gift because He loves us so much.
[F]or all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24Romans 3:23-24
English: World English Bible - WEB
23 for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God;
24 being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus;
I have my Pharisee days from time to time. Even though I have been shown grace by my awesome God, I have trouble showing grace to my family. I read in The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller that a Pharisee is a person who is “trusting in your own goodness rather than in Jesus for your standing with God.” (Keller, p. 177) Instead of being humble knowing that I am saved by grace alone, I try doing works thinking that it is going to earn me points with God. I want to save myself by following Jesus’ example rather than being saved by Jesus. I’ve got it backwards in my head thinking that the law is what saves me not that being saved causes me to follow the law
Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. Romans 3:20Romans 3:20
English: World English Bible - WEB
20 Because by the works of the law, no flesh will be justified in his sight. For through the law comes the knowledge of sin.
The law only points out that I am truly a sinner. Seeing my sin should motivate me to follow the law and remind me that the gift of Jesus is incredible. As I ponder all of this, I can’t help but think about the lyrics to a Veggie Tales song – Stop! And Go with Mercy. Listening to the song with my kids reminds me that seeing my sin should help me to forgive others and give them another chance – basically show everyone, especially my family, a little grace and ultimately show them how much I truly love them.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31Mark 12:30-31
English: World English Bible - WEB
30 you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.
31 The second is like this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
It’s my job to teach my children to love God and their neighbor. I need to lead by example to show them how to love others. One way to express your love is to show others some grace since we all fall short of the glory of God. My life and relationship with my children gives them a tiny glimpse of what to expect from their awesome God. He shows grace and mercy to us all who accept it, and He loves them more than they will ever know.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comments (3)God is Pleased and Home Educates Us
Home schooling means that you are intimately involved in every part of your child’s education. You see your child’s failures, missteps, and victories while you homeschool. All parents are proud of their children when they learn a new skill or solve a problem, but parents who home educate cannot help but feel an enormous sense of pride in their children’s accomplishments. It’s as if you the parent accomplished something when really it is the child who has. However, in a home school the parent has a lot to be proud of because you have also done a lot of work. You have invested much of your time, energy, and love into your child’s education. Your home school is an investment. Your child is your treasure. You invest in your treasure. Watching the fruit of your labor fills you with joy.
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:16-17Matthew 3:16-17
English: World English Bible - WEB
16 Jesus, when he was baptized, went up directly from the water: and behold, the heavens were opened to him. He saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove, and coming on him.
17 Behold, a voice out of the heavens said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
God was pleased with His son, Jesus, because he submitted to His authority. Jesus followed God’s plan for him. If you as a mere human can feel so overwhelmingly proud of your child’s accomplishments, can you imagine how God felt about His son, His good and perfect son, Jesus? He had to tell the whole world that He was pleased with His son. That just reminds me of how important it is to see that Jesus is my example to follow. God is well pleased with His son; I should emulate Jesus’ life and be more Christ-like by submitting to God’s authority. I want to please God in a way that will make Him want to announce it to the whole world!
Here God’s teaching style applies to the home school. In this passage, God spoke to the people, which happens so rarely in the Bible, so we know that He has something important to say. God also gained everyone’s attention for His announcement. Here He used two means of getting people’s attention: His voice and visuals (the image of a dove and lighting). God’s example shows me how to do the same in my home school. First, visuals are key, so meaningful images that highlight important concepts make an impact . Also using your voice in unexpected ways calls attention.
God is pleased with His son and announces that to the world, but gets everyone’s attention when He makes His point. I am certainly pleased with my children, but God is well pleased with His son. I want Him to be well pleased with me. Like my God I will make sure I have everyone’s attention when I make an important point.
Filed under Lesson Plans | Comment (1)Home Education: Not My Idol
As a home educator, I think that my priorities are in order. My curriculum is good. My home school is progressive; I try new things. I home educate because I am good at teaching.
They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. They have bowed down to it and sacrificed to it and have said, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.’ Exodus 32:8Exodus 32:8
English: World English Bible - WEB
8 They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them. They have made themselves a molten calf, and have worshiped it, and have sacrificed to it, and said, ‘These are your gods, Israel, which brought you up out of the land of Egypt.’”
I have noticed that I am walking the fine line of making my role as a mother and home educator into my “golden calf”, an idol. I build my identity, in part at least, around these roles. Being at home and educating my own children puts me in a vulnerable place because all day that is what I am focused on.
You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. Exodus 20:4Exodus 20:4
English: World English Bible - WEB
4 “You shall not make for yourselves an idol, nor any image of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
I see the idolatry pattern throughout my history and still feel the effects of that sin. I was a classroom teacher. For most of my life I knew that I was going to teach. I identified myself as a teacher and built my life around that role. i spent long hours preparing my classroom, grading papers, preparing lessons, and the list goes on. I poured my heart and soul into work. My home life suffered as a result. I was not exercising or eating right. I was getting home late. I had no time to be with friends. I fell into a depression. I was not a Christian yet. This is the sin that actually brought me to Christ, so I can see how it is my achilles heel. So what do I do about that?
Developing deep, meaningful friendships has helped me. My friends help me to focus on someone else. I am reminded that it is not all about me. It helps to be with just adults and talk about current events and beyond. My friends also help me to stop taking myself so seriously. Life is fun and interesting. Also God created a beautiful place for us all to enjoy. Getting out into the beautiful world helps me to see the possibilities and gets my creativity going. Most importantly I spend time with God. I fail at this a lot, but when I am on track with it, my quiet time centers me on Christ. It puts me in my place as God’s servant. It reminds my that I do not need an idol. I have a living God who loves me and wants to have a personal relationship with me.
’Do not turn to idols or make gods of cast metal for yourselves. I am the LORD your God. Leviticus 19:4Leviticus 19:4
English: World English Bible - WEB
4 “‘Don’t turn to idols, nor make molten gods for yourselves. I am Yahweh your God.
I have to remember that my identity comes from God, and I am home educating my children for Him to bring Him glory and serve His kingdom. He may call me to serve in another way in the future, but for now, He wants me right where I am – homeschooling. This is a calling, not a choice for me.
Filed under Homeschooling Life | Comments (2)Devotions
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105Psalm 119:105
English: World English Bible - WEB
NUN
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet,
And a light for my path.
This summer I am incorporating devotions into school time. It feels like my children are growing in their faith and understanding of God. They look forward to our devotional time because it is fun, interactive, and interesting. I am using visuals and games that make the concepts more concrete. We sometimes do a craft related to the devotion, or we might simply color a picture with the memory verse.
I have thoroughly enjoyed devotions with my children as well. It has gotten me to think about why the time is so meaningful even when I have not planned an activity to go along with the devotion. I am reminded of the following verse:
“And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3Matthew 18:3
English: World English Bible - WEB
3 and said, “Most assuredly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
I am learning along side my children. I am seeing my God through the eyes of a child and remembering how awesome my God truly is. I have gained the reverance for the creator of the universe that I lose throughout the day. When I answer those sweet, innocent questions, I realize that God is just amazing. Often times I do not have the answers to those questions. At that point, we pray. I know God answers prayers, and I know that He will find an answer that is just right for my little one’s questions. The fact that I do not have all of the answers points me back to my God. I return to my place – God’s servant.
Filed under Lesson Plans | Comment (0)My Story
This is my story in a nutshell. I hope that you will see how my journey brought about the foundation of Homeschooling Coach and how we can help you evolve as a homeschooler.
I entered college full of anticipation and hope. I wanted to change the world one classroom at a time. I loved children. I loved teaching. I read everything I could about child rearing – starting at thirteen years old. I watched T. Berry Brazelton and Penelope Leach to find out about child development. I took care of everyone’s children. I worked as a child care provider in a community-based program designed to assist families in need. I knew that I was going to be the best teacher that there ever was. I only applied to Wheelock College. It was a small, private school focused on serving children and families. I walked into that school and felt at home. I dove into my studies and graduated as an elementary school teacher.
I worked in an urban school in southern California upon graduation. This was a tough school with tough kids. It was difficult to work with the parents because of work schedules, misunderstandings, language barriers, and the list goes on. I was frustrated and devastated. Why was I struggling with something that had come so easily to me? I knew that I was meant to be a teacher, and I was failing miserably at it. I stayed there for three years and left to start a M.Ed. in Reading Education at Boston University with the hope of becoming a reading specialist. I figured that I was more suited to individualized work. I still loved teaching, but I was unable to organize everything that a classroom teacher is responsible for – paperwork, grading, assessments, meetings, professional development, and on and on. A reading specialist job would be a better fit with more focused work.
In graduate school I worked for a literacy-based tutoring program as a program coordinator. I managed a group of tutors working in schools all over Boston. I also provided all of the training for the tutors. I designed different workshops myself based on different teaching techniques and projects to do with the children. I led all of the training. I created a tutoring manual as well. I really loved that job – too bad it was a work-study job and not a professional one! College students are great to work with, and I love passing on my knowledge. It was a great use of my talents and strengths.
I graduated from BU and landed a job as a reading specialist in an affluent school district. I was a reading teacher in the middle school; however, I taught one hundred students. I was still managing a classroom, but now I was managing more students than I could have dreamed of being responsible for. At least I was teaching only one subject, and I was part of a team of teachers. I was integral in developing the curriculum – something that has always interested me. This job also proved to be a challenge for me with the demands of evaluating all of those students and keeping in touch with their parents. The work load was too much for me. I did not have enough time with the students, and I really loved teaching part.
During my time in the middle school, I also went on a mission trip to Nepal. God called me to work with a team providing teacher training in a Christian school that my church supported. I had to go! I really loved working with the teachers and the team I served with. It was challenging to teach with limited supplies – even more limited than when I worked in southern California. I appreciated the challenge, though. On top of all of the other hardships, my mother passed away two weeks before my departure for Nepal. I went on the trip anyway; I knew that God wanted me to go. He provided for me, though! I never felt closer to Him than I did on that trip. I started to see glimpses of His plan for me.
I left the middle school job to have my first baby. I decided to stay home with her, but it became apparent that God wanted me to use my gifts in a different way. While I was pregnant, my husband and I had attended a Mass HOPE conference because we were considering homeschooling our children. The conference had sparked an interest in the homeschooling world. God brought great friends who were educating their children at home. It seemed like home education was a possibility for my family, and I wanted to get immersed in the culture. I also wanted other moms to feel like homeschooling could be a reality. I established Homeschooling Coach, a Christian organization that provides consulting and tutoring services for homeschooling families. I began with an e-newsletter and workshops that provided practical curriculum information. The response has been amazing! God has truly provided and has definite plans for Homeschooling Coach. I am striving to obey God and serve His people who are serving their children every day. I am excited to watch the business grow and see God’s plan unfold.
Since starting the business, I have begun homeschooling. My children and I have also been working with some friends who are also interested in homeschooling. It has been great for me to dive into educating my own children and to encourage my friends. I have learned a lot about how exciting it is to teach your children about this wonderful world. I love watching them engage in activities that I have worked so hard to put together for them. It is amazing to watch them understand something and to see the excitement on their faces while they learn! It has been more rewarding than teaching in a classroom ever was. It is also more frustrating when things don’t go as planned or the children are not cooperating with my plans. All of these experiences open my eyes to the needs of the greater homeschooling community. I know that my varied experience will be an asset to home educators!
Filed under Colleen, History | Comments (7)
