Responding to Concerns about Homeschooling
Recently I have been talking with other moms about our decision to homeschool full time next school year - both kids. This seems like a big step for us since we are supplementing Montessori school right now. I know that we can do it, though. For some reason I have found it incredibly difficult to face those other moms when I tell them that. I think people think that we are weird.
I have a friend who just started homeschooling this year because she and her husband feel called by God to do that. She told me that although she is confident in their decision to homeschool, but she also finds it difficult to talk to other people about this decision. She also feels like people will think that they are weird and doesn’t know what to tell people. After some discussion about the topic, we came up with a couple of things you can tell people about your decision to homeschool.
- Our homeschool meets my children’s learning needs better than any other educational setting right now. I have more flexiblitity to try different curricula and methods to reach my children.
- We want to provide a Christian education for our children, but we cannot afford private school.
The other concern that others have when I talk about home education is about socialization. I have to wonder why socialization is the big concern and not the quality of the education that my kids get, but this is what I say:
- By not paying for school, we will have funds available to put towards dance class, horseback riding lessons, swimming lessons, and the like. These are the situations where my children will be involved in group learning experiences away from Mommy.
- We are active in our church, so my children are forming friendships with these children. This way I know the families already when we either host a play date or play at a friend’s house.
Some people are concerned about me doing too much. They talk about me needing a support system and a break, which I agree with. This is my response:
- I will find a co-op or just a group of other homeschoolers to talk to about our school and our joys ans trials.
- I will also continue attending Mom-to-Mom and my church’s women’s Bible study. I will either have to work with the Children’s Ministry Director or find an alternative form of child care for the children in order for me to be part of those groups, but I know that attending these programs is essential for me.
- My dear husband will also take charge of some ongoing math and science projects to work on with the children when he is home (in the evening, on the weekends, or on vacation). He will also discuss the curriculum with me. We plan to be partners in this endeavor!
What has your response been to well-meaning people when they raise concerns about home education?
14 Responses to “Responding to Concerns about Homeschooling”
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It was really hard in the beginning for me to tell friends and family about our decision to home school.
It really use to be an issue for me because I was scared of what people would think of me. I also noticed that my fear rubbed off on my son. He never wanted to answer anyone when they asked him what school he went to. As he has grown, I can see he is more comfortable and just says, “My school is at home.” I just got to a point where the more I seeked the Lord, the more I saw Him move in our homeschool and the happier it made me..so I am always so happy to share about our homeschool! He has his moments but for the most part… I love him being here w/ me all day bouncing off the walls making me laugh to no end. He is always quick to help me w/ housework even after a few groans.
Most importantly, my family is supportive always blessing us w/ school supplies and little things like that. My Mother has made 3 folders full of ideas and plans w/ reasons why homeschool is best. It’s just been such a blessing!
So now when people ask, I am confident to respond that it works for us now. It is my heart’s desire he is always schooled at home, but I do not know the Lord’s plan so I will just continue to seek Him about it.
Your blog is another huge blessing in our homeschool. =)
*Hugs*
http://prevailingwordhomeschool.blogspot.com
is a blog dedicated to our homeschool.
I have a bad habit of answering questions like that with questions of my own, such as:
“Why have you chosen to send your kids to public school?”
“How do you help your kids pursue their interests and talents?”
“What do you mean by ’socialization’?”
“How do you help your kids with their homework?”
These and similar questions often help them answer their questions for themselves, and realize that their reaction to my choice to homeschool was knee-jerk and not well thought out. Plus, it upsets some people to have questions like that asked of *them*, and it dawns on them that if they don’t like *being asked* questions, maybe *they* shouldn’t ask them.
When I am feeling especially magnanimous, I answer questions much like you have suggested in your blog post- “This lifestyle fits our family”, “There are many resources available to home educators”, “We have a very active social life”…
*gonna try again*
I used to be really weary of telling people that we homeschool when we first started. I just didn’t want to hear how this was going to affect my child in the long run. I was really nervous about it all. However, once I noticed how it was rubbing off on my son – I changed my whole attitude about it! I sought the Lord about my fears and concerns. Once I brought it all to Him, He really began to move in our little homeschool. I was so happy and full of joy! So when people would ask me, I would be [still am] all excited about how blessed we are to be able to homeschool. I know many mothers who would like to, but can’t for whatever reason.
My whole family is so supportive too – always bringing us school stuff, games, etc. We are so blessed and I always want to share that with others. Although, it is my heart’s desire he will always be homeschooled. But I have to realistic enough to never say never. I want what the Lord Jesus has planned for him, so I will alays seek the Lord in his up bringing.
So now when people ask him or me, ‘what school does you/he go to’. We just simply answer, “our school is at home and I love it!”
I always want to tell Moms, “Don’t be afraid! Go for it! No one knows your child more than you do! God will honor you as you honor Him. Homeschooling is an honor!”
God bless this blog! I love it!
*Hugs*
Yes, it is so true that we know our children better than anyone else except for Jesus. It is truly an honor to be my children’s mother and teacher. In time I know that my friend will find her voice and be able to tell other people about how wonderful it is and what a privilege it is to educate her own children. Thank you, Rose, for your thoughtful and encouraging comments!
Yes, Jesus knows our children better which is why it’s so very important for us to seek Him in the smallest/biggest details regarding them.
I just know it was hard for me to stand up to people about this because my answers never sounded rational and/or educated enough.
It is so true that other people can make you feel so small when you tell them that you are homeschooling! Your reasons always sound so good in your head, but, somehow, when they come out of your mouth, those same answers sound irrational! It is so very important to know other homeschoolers who can encourage you!
Congrats….great decision, and for all the right (and thought-out) reasons!
Sunniemom, I like your spunk!
This is my 3rd year homeschooling, and now it seems second nature really. At first, I was the same as you – a bit scared, full of questions, jumping to the defense all of the time. In my experience, most people like to ask questions to “stump” you in some sort of way. I try to only get into discussions with people who are genuinely interested or curious (or maybe are looking to make that choice too!) For others, I basically tell them it’s a very personal decision for every family to make. That usually shuts them up LOL It’s good to know why you want to homeschool and great that you have goals for it – but after a while, it will just become your lifestyle with no real separation between life and “school.” That’s the way it is for us anyway. Even the people who were SOOO opposed at first now the see the success of our child. He’s everywhere! Because we’re not tied down to the school schedule, he’s able to happily do volunteer work, help at the church, volunteer at the nursing home, play soccer, baseball, basketball, swimming, 4-H, take piano lessons, go on field trips to museums and symphonies, travel whenever we want …shall I go on? Socialization my foot…he gets more with home school than he EVER would at public school! haha It sounds like you have great support and are already on your way! I wish you the best! – oh, one more thing…make sure to check out the home schooling laws of your state…it IS important to know those
If you don’t, people will try and scare you; telling you that you are breaking the law.
Toni, Thank you for your thoughtful comments and advice! I definitely sense that once we get into the swing of things next year, our day will be seamless. I saw that this summer when we were experimenting with homeschooling to see how it worked for us. In my heart I know that it will be the best choice for my family at least for this coming school year. (One year at a time!) I just need to remember that when I hear from neigh-sayers! Yes, it is very important to know the law!
Again, thanks for taking the time to comment!
Toni is right. I’ve been home schooling 5 years now and those questions don’t bother me at all anymore. I can even have fun with them now. The longer I home school my children, the bigger the behavior gap becomes between my kids and their kids. My kids main source of entertainment and influence is their families, my neighbors kids are consumed by their friends to the exclusion of the parents. These parents like to pacify themselves with thoughts that my kids are therefore “not normal”. I can see down the road, however, and because I have been part of the homeschooling community for many years now, I KNOW what the difference between my kids and their public schooled counterparts will be. The chasm is wide. And girl, you are on the right side of the gap. Hang tough, have a sense of humor, trust in what God has told you to do and I promise his provision will be enough.
Wendy, thank you for your thoughtful comments! It is encouraging to hear many positive comments about how home education is working for so many families.
I’ve learned to grin broadly and enthusiastically just answer, “I had no idea either that homeschooling was as amazing as it is!” or “We love it!”
If you can get the right gleam in your eye–which I do naturally because I feel like I’ve stumbled upon some amazing secret that is homeschooling– I’ve noticed people start to almost question themselves, perhaps thinking “Wow, she’s so happy, it must work!” I don’t allow myself to feel defensive anymore, just pleased with our family decision so my enthusiasm will shine through.
I respond with their question but reframe it positively.
“I know! Before we homeschooled I wondered about socialization too, but of course now I know better!”
Or “I know! I used to worry about their education until of course now I see how the kids are doing so great!”
Or, “I know! I used to wonder how I’d teach them, too! It’s been so enlightening!”