Who is in Charge Anyway?

My dear hubby, Techno Man, has the difficult job of loving me for the rest of his life. I’m not sure he knew what he was getting into when he married me. I have never hidden anything from him in the twelve years that we’ve been together, but love can be blind. Once the haze of bliss clears, reality sets in, and it is often too late to bail out! Anyway, I can be very difficult to love. I am bossy. I am moody. I am impatient. Being a perfectionist often keeps me from being able to show my loved ones grace and to forgive them. Mix that all together with how difficult it is for me to deal with change and stress and you will encounter many confrontations and difficult days.

Today happened to be just one of those difficult days because of me. I wanted to get things done my way – because isn’t my way the best way? I think so, but Techno Man doesn’t always think that, and the kids definitely think that I am crazy when I try to assert my authority. We all were in disagreement in the shoe store, no less. I must tell you that my kiddos absolutely love to go shoe shopping, and I hate shopping for shoes. This can make for a very challenging trip in and of itself. The kiddos want to try on every pair of shoes in the store and run around trying them out while I spend the time trying to rein them in and decide which shoes are the best fit at the best price. Techno Man is not usually with us on these said shoe shopping adventures, but it happened that he was around at a time when we really needed to go shoe shopping. (Mother of the Year Award: One kid was squeezing into a 13 1/2 shoe, but is actually a size 2, and the other kid was wearing a size 8, but is actually a size 9 wide. How did I miss that?)

Anyway, Techno Man and I have very different approaches to shopping in general. Usually he wants to look around and think about what he might buy. I like to get it over and done with. However, I have found in the past that this approach does not work with buying shoes for the kids. The kids are much more cooperative if I give them the time they want to “shop” their options. Being a mom, though, I am also thinking about the price, the usefulness, and the longevity of the shoes. Many times I am also on the look out for the next pair of shoes we will need in case we encounter a clearance rack. Techno Man does not know about the inner thought process of a mom because, well, he’s not a mom. Daddies don’t think about these things because mommies do that. That’s how we compliment each other.

The shopping trip went south after we tried on two or three pairs of shoes and asked if another pair came in the right size. At that point I saw the clearance rack. Lights shined on it and the heavenly music played. Yes, I was mesmerized because I saw my chance of finding a pair of snow boots for cheap! Techno Man had had it, though, once I pulled down the boots and the pair of shoes we asked for were brought to us from the back room. The melt down began. I wanted to do it my way, but Techno Man felt that the shopping trip was getting out of hand. He said I was getting us side tracked and now there were too many choices. He walked away after we exchanged words. Of course the disagreement continued once we were in the car, and it go ugly!

I really wanted to have all of the control. I am used to being the one in charge because most of the time I am. I usually go on the shoe shopping extravaganzas by myself, so I get to decide when we are finished looking at our options and if we will look at sale shoes for the next season. It is difficult for me to let someone else be in charge. I especially get frustrated with Techno Man because he doesn’t have all of the background information to make the decisions that I think are the “right” ones. The crux of the problem was that I was passing judgment on Techno Man’s ability to make decisions. Who is in charge?

Deep down I want my husband to be the head of the household since the Bible tells us that that is his place (Ephesians 5:23Ephesians 5:23
English: World English Bible - WEB
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body.

). I just can’t seem to let go enough to let him have that place. I need to let this man who loves me (despite the fact that I am so difficult to love) lead our family. He is a Godly man. He is a loving husband and father. He can make good decisions. (He married me, didn’t he?!) I need to let him be in charge – at least once in a while!

Lord, help me to let go of the control that I so desperately seek and allow my husband be the head of our home. Teach me to be a wife who can love, support, and encourage my husband as he leads our family.

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