Perseverance
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 2 Peter 1:5-7
“Mommy, I can’t do it!” “Mommy, help me!” “I don’t want to do it!” “It’s too hard, Mommy!” I hear this all of the time. Do you? It can be frustrating to watch your children flounder a bit, but we know that they sometimes have to work through things on their own in order to learn. It builds character, too. It is so difficult to motivate a child who feels overwhelmed by the task at hand. I often have to step back to figure out if the task is actually too hard or if it is my child’s perception of the task that makes it appear insurmountable. I am flexible and certainly will change my expectations if the task is impossible right now. However, I am learning ways to teach my children perseverance in a gentle way. I am discovering slowly how to motivate my children who sometimes seem to be so unmotivated to try something new.
So here is the Bible’s recipe for motivation. In 2 Peter we read that we need to start with faith and then add goodness. I have been watching my children’s faith grow through our family devotions; they even ask for devotions now. The lessons we are learning in our devotional time are certainly teaching us about goodness such as obedience, faithfulness, and truth. The time we spend together with God is building a strong foundation for their faith - and mine - and is certainly a godly thing to do. (See my post called Devotions.)
Add knowledge to faith and goodness. We spend our days on focused, in-depth study. Our curriculum is Christ-centered, so we are using the theme from our devotions in other curriculum areas. The goal is to connect our learning and deepen our understanding of the concepts we are studying. The repetition helps the children own the information and use higher order thinking skills such as application and synthesis.
That brings us to self-control. This is difficult even for adults. I sometimes think I need more practice in this area than my children do! However, I am teaching them and myself self-control through delayed gratification. In this fast-paced, get-it-now society it is a challenge to be patient, but we are working towards that. We are saving money in a piggy bank, which we hope to donate to a charity. I also force us to wait for rewards, which is especially difficult for me. We take turns when we play. During tantrums, I expect the kids to find a way to calm down on their own and become aware of what set them off and how to handle the situation better. These seem like simple things to do, but in the long run, the actually do teach us to be patient and self-controlled.
All of this brings us to perseverance. I think of this as something I desperately need to model for my children. For example, I sometimes am discouraged when I think that they are not ready for the concept that I am presenting. I feel like moving on because it is not worth it to make them do something they can’t do. I have learned to stop and try again the next day and then again the following day. I have seen that this kind of perseverance on my part has produced some amazing fruit with my children’s learning, and then I am encouraged to try again. It is my goal to share with the kids my struggle to persevere. It is important for them to see me as a real person who deals with the same problems they do. I try to give them a glimpse at the ways that I solve those problems in the hope that they will imitate me. I do mean imitate because that is what they do when they pretend play. They want to be just like Mommy, so I am trying to give them a positive model for what a mommy does.
In the end, we hope that all of our efforts will produce people (even us as parents) who love others - the way that God loves us - with agape love.
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