Pressure to Plan Perfectly
It happens to me every week. I feel the pressure to plan and execute the best lessons that I possibly can for my children. They are so very young, but I really want the work that I give to them to be high-quality, fun, interesting, and useful. I even want to make insightful connections. I can’t imagine having a lesson that is less than what I know that I can do for them. I want everything that we do to be a success. Talk about pressure!
This pressure really is only from me, though. No one else expects perfection from me except me. This perfectionism has been a life-long problem for me. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am not measuring up. Maybe that’s because I really can’t be perfect. As I tell my children, only Jesus is perfect.
What do I do about that? My children know that I want the best for them and that I love them; they show me more grace than anyone I know can. Then I remind myself daily that the goal is not perfection. Even though I am technically the teacher, we are all learning here. They are learning the information and skills that I am teaching them, and I am learning how to be a patient, loving, encouraging teacher. I am trying to let go of failed lessons because, in the end, I have not really failed. I have succeeded in understanding my children a little better and understanding what I am capable of doing. I have also succeeded in understanding that I cannot homeschool alone. I have built a network of support. I am the primary educator in my home, but I also need support from my husband. My friends support me by teaching me and my children. I am taking advantage of the resources that are available to me at the library and on the internet. Ultimately, I must remember that I cannot homeschool without my God who knows me and my children intimately and has a plan that supersedes any plans that I have made on any given day. His plans are perfect.
Leave a Reply
