Pressure to Plan Perfectly
It happens to me every week. I feel the pressure to plan and execute the best lessons that I possibly can for my children. They are so very young, but I really want the work that I give to them to be high-quality, fun, interesting, and useful. I even want to make insightful connections. I can’t imagine having a lesson that is less than what I know that I can do for them. I want everything that we do to be a success. Talk about pressure!
This pressure really is only from me, though. No one else expects perfection from me except me. This perfectionism has been a life-long problem for me. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am not measuring up. Maybe that’s because I really can’t be perfect. As I tell my children, only Jesus is perfect.
What do I do about that? My children know that I want the best for them and that I love them; they show me more grace than anyone I know can. Then I remind myself daily that the goal is not perfection. Even though I am technically the teacher, we are all learning here. They are learning the information and skills that I am teaching them, and I am learning how to be a patient, loving, encouraging teacher. I am trying to let go of failed lessons because, in the end, I have not really failed. I have succeeded in understanding my children a little better and understanding what I am capable of doing. I have also succeeded in understanding that I cannot homeschool alone. I have built a network of support. I am the primary educator in my home, but I also need support from my husband. My friends support me by teaching me and my children. I am taking advantage of the resources that are available to me at the library and on the internet. Ultimately, I must remember that I cannot homeschool without my God who knows me and my children intimately and has a plan that supersedes any plans that I have made on any given day. His plans are perfect.
Filed under How to, Lesson Plans | Comment (0)My Story
This is my story in a nutshell. I hope that you will see how my journey brought about the foundation of Homeschooling Coach and how we can help you evolve as a homeschooler.
I entered college full of anticipation and hope. I wanted to change the world one classroom at a time. I loved children. I loved teaching. I read everything I could about child rearing – starting at thirteen years old. I watched T. Berry Brazelton and Penelope Leach to find out about child development. I took care of everyone’s children. I worked as a child care provider in a community-based program designed to assist families in need. I knew that I was going to be the best teacher that there ever was. I only applied to Wheelock College. It was a small, private school focused on serving children and families. I walked into that school and felt at home. I dove into my studies and graduated as an elementary school teacher.
I worked in an urban school in southern California upon graduation. This was a tough school with tough kids. It was difficult to work with the parents because of work schedules, misunderstandings, language barriers, and the list goes on. I was frustrated and devastated. Why was I struggling with something that had come so easily to me? I knew that I was meant to be a teacher, and I was failing miserably at it. I stayed there for three years and left to start a M.Ed. in Reading Education at Boston University with the hope of becoming a reading specialist. I figured that I was more suited to individualized work. I still loved teaching, but I was unable to organize everything that a classroom teacher is responsible for – paperwork, grading, assessments, meetings, professional development, and on and on. A reading specialist job would be a better fit with more focused work.
In graduate school I worked for a literacy-based tutoring program as a program coordinator. I managed a group of tutors working in schools all over Boston. I also provided all of the training for the tutors. I designed different workshops myself based on different teaching techniques and projects to do with the children. I led all of the training. I created a tutoring manual as well. I really loved that job – too bad it was a work-study job and not a professional one! College students are great to work with, and I love passing on my knowledge. It was a great use of my talents and strengths.
I graduated from BU and landed a job as a reading specialist in an affluent school district. I was a reading teacher in the middle school; however, I taught one hundred students. I was still managing a classroom, but now I was managing more students than I could have dreamed of being responsible for. At least I was teaching only one subject, and I was part of a team of teachers. I was integral in developing the curriculum – something that has always interested me. This job also proved to be a challenge for me with the demands of evaluating all of those students and keeping in touch with their parents. The work load was too much for me. I did not have enough time with the students, and I really loved teaching part.
During my time in the middle school, I also went on a mission trip to Nepal. God called me to work with a team providing teacher training in a Christian school that my church supported. I had to go! I really loved working with the teachers and the team I served with. It was challenging to teach with limited supplies – even more limited than when I worked in southern California. I appreciated the challenge, though. On top of all of the other hardships, my mother passed away two weeks before my departure for Nepal. I went on the trip anyway; I knew that God wanted me to go. He provided for me, though! I never felt closer to Him than I did on that trip. I started to see glimpses of His plan for me.
I left the middle school job to have my first baby. I decided to stay home with her, but it became apparent that God wanted me to use my gifts in a different way. While I was pregnant, my husband and I had attended a Mass HOPE conference because we were considering homeschooling our children. The conference had sparked an interest in the homeschooling world. God brought great friends who were educating their children at home. It seemed like home education was a possibility for my family, and I wanted to get immersed in the culture. I also wanted other moms to feel like homeschooling could be a reality. I established Homeschooling Coach, a Christian organization that provides consulting and tutoring services for homeschooling families. I began with an e-newsletter and workshops that provided practical curriculum information. The response has been amazing! God has truly provided and has definite plans for Homeschooling Coach. I am striving to obey God and serve His people who are serving their children every day. I am excited to watch the business grow and see God’s plan unfold.
Since starting the business, I have begun homeschooling. My children and I have also been working with some friends who are also interested in homeschooling. It has been great for me to dive into educating my own children and to encourage my friends. I have learned a lot about how exciting it is to teach your children about this wonderful world. I love watching them engage in activities that I have worked so hard to put together for them. It is amazing to watch them understand something and to see the excitement on their faces while they learn! It has been more rewarding than teaching in a classroom ever was. It is also more frustrating when things don’t go as planned or the children are not cooperating with my plans. All of these experiences open my eyes to the needs of the greater homeschooling community. I know that my varied experience will be an asset to home educators!
Filed under Colleen, History | Comments (7)
